3.2.10

Changing

Okay. Now aku rasa mcm dah berubah sikit demi sikit. Kau tahu tak, yang previous post aku tu, bukan lah betul-betul dirasuk. Tapi MACAM dirasuk. Sumpah bai. Kau kalau ada masa tu memang takut. Meraung mcm mati laki, padahal baru gaduh je. Takde laah, aku ni emosional sikit. Lebih-lebih lagi bila aku payah nak jumpa boyf aku, lepas tu last moment je, time nak balik, kitorang gaduh, siapa yang tak bengang kan. Tapi kitorang dah okay dah. Dalam bus on the way balik ke Ipoh, aku menangis sebab rindu. Again, aku rasa mcm org gila. Then I keep asking him whether he's bored with me or not kan. Then he tried to clear things up. But I said, answer my question pls. Lepas tu,

;) , 11:20:50pm
Tade la..ad j bnd nk borak kn. Ni nak berangan lg.. Dh la, nk ajak sembang kau tduh aku bkn2 plak.

Me , 11:23:19pm
[start to clear things up with hopes that he'll forgive me; changing topics]

;) , 11:25:10pm
B x pham la baby ni. Mcm x pham bahase, lg siang td. B ok j, nk mengarut2 wt ape lg.



Lepas tu baru aku mcm tersedar. Duhh, I've spoiled our dates. Cepat-cepat aku istighfar and baca ayat Kursi. Betul-betul rasa mcm ada setan keluar dr badan. Kalau tak kepala aku ni tak boleh berfikir langsung. Nak lelap mata pun tak boleh. Gelisah yang amat. Ye aku baru je habis period masa tu, so no wonder lah kan. Perempuan sgt emosional. Memang tak boleh nafikan. And we can act stupid tanpa berfikir. Bahaya tahu tak. Macam suddenly aku rasa mcm nak stop bus kat Melaka, nak turun then patah balik ke Segamat. What IF I really did that? Kan dah menyusahkan ramai orang.

I wanna change. Being immature is fun, SOMETIMES. Bukan selalu. Bukan all the time. Aku ni kontra dgn boyf aku. He's the hot one, I'm the cool one. Tapi cool pun, kadang-kadang menggelegak. That's why, bila dua-dua amuk, my boyf akan jadi lagi panas. Jgn salahkan dia lah kalau tiba-tiba keluar yang bukan-bukan. He doesn't mean it pun. I know.

I love it when he comes to me and say sorry. And of course I'll forgive him. I do mistakes either. I think I did the most mistakes. He's just a man, lelaki bukan perempuan. Perangai lelaki bukan mcm perempuan. They take all things small. Tapi dlm hati diorang, byk secret yang diorang hold. Ego diorang tinggi. Just forgive them when the act uncontrollably. They need time to cool down.

To Farhan Esa, I love you tauu. One day with you at Melaka dah buat saya happy sangat. Tambah lagi tgk awk perform kan. I am so proud of you. And please don't quit. You have really a great talent.

He's my drugs ;)
Location: Zoo Melaka

No comments:

Post a Comment

BigPay for a Big Spender Like Me!

Shh don't tell anyone I'm using BigPay and it's amazing! It's a powerful app that tracks your expenses and lets you manage y...